Windows In Shuls

1. The Shulchan Arukh (OC 90:4) writes that a person should only daven in a room that has windows that face the direction of Yerushalayim. [It is preferable for the room to have 12 windows, but it’s not necessary for them to all face Yerushalayim]. The Mishnah Berurah explains that this definitely applies to one praying in his home, but is also applies to a shul.
2. The Beit Yosef brings a number of explanations for this law. Rashi’s explanation is that the window exposes the sky, reminding us of our subordination to Heaven.
3. The Mishnah Berurah asks what is the purpose of having windows if one should pray Shemoneh Esrei looking downward and not looking out the window? He explains that if one loses his concentration during Shemoneh Esrei he can momentarily look out the window up at Heaven, remind himself of Hashem and regain his concentration.
4. Rav Akiva Eiger zt”l explains that one should not pray directly in front of the window as this can actually distract you. Rather, one should stand a little bit back from the window so that he can look through it whenever he needs to. Similarly, the Chasam Sofer (27) explains that the common custom is to build the windows higher up, towards the ceiling. in order to avoid people from being distracted by what’s going on outside.
5. It is better to pray in a quiet room without windows than to pray in a room with windows where there are alot of people walking and talking. (Shraga Hameir 6:154)

The Tefillah of Aleinu

1. At the end of davening we recite the prayer of Aleinu Leshabeach. This prayer is a great and significant one. The first paragraph of Aleinu was authored by Yehoshua Ben Nun. He recited it 7 times backwards and forwards while circling Yericho and it was one of the factors that caused the walls of Yericho to become swallowed up in the ground. The second paragraph (V’al Kein) was authored by Achan after he repented for taking the booty from Yericho. (Chida Machzik Bracha 132:2, Seder Hayom Aleinu and Meam Loez Yehoshua 6:15)
2. The Chida writes that one should recite the prayer with a tremendous amount of concentration as “there is no greater praise to Hashem [as that of Aleinu]”.
3. Harav Yaakov Emden zt”l (Siddur) adds that reciting it with kavana is a segulah as a protection “that all tzaros not befall you”.
4. Harav Yitzchak Yosef shlit”a (Yalkut Yosef Dinim L’isha page 38) writes that women are not obligated to recite Aleinu but it is a praiseworthy thing for them to do so. Similarly, Harav Pesach Falk shlit”a explains that women are technically exempt from reciting Aleinu, however, it is the correct thing for them to recite it. (Mechaze Eliyahu 20 and Halichos Bas Yisroel 2:13)
5. If one enters a shul and he hears a congregation reciting Aleinu, he should recite it with them even if he is not praying with them (the rest of davening). (M.B. 65:9)
Here is a link to a ten minute shiur that I gave on the Tefillah of Aleinu:

Kol Isha

The Prohibition-

1. It is forbidden for a man to hear a woman sing. This prohibition is called “Kol B’Isha Ervah.” (Brachos 24a and Shulchan Aruch Even Haezer 21)

2. The Sdei Chemed (Kuf 42) cites an argument amongst the authorities whether this prohibition is Biblical or Rabbinic in nature. The Chochmas Adam (4:1), in his commentary Nishmas Adam, concludes that it is Rabbinic in nature. (See Mishnah Berurah 75:17)

Listening To Multiple Women Sing In Unison-

3. The Beer Sheva (Beer Mayim Chayim 3) writes that this prohibition exists whether it is one woman singing or multiple women singing and whether they are singing secular songs or singing Zemiros on Shabbos. This is also the view of most authorities. However, there were those that wished to rule leniently as shall be explained.

4. The Chasan Sofer (Taharas Yadayim 14) extends a lenient ruling based on the Talmudic rule that “Trei kali Lo Mishtamay,” two voices cannot be heard simultaneously. The Gemara uses this principle to prohibit two people to read from the Torah at the same time. Therefore, argues the Chasan Sofer if multiple women are singing there should not exist a prohibition since men cannot focus on two voices simultaneously.

The Tzitz Eliezer (14:7) felt that the Chasan Sofer was not definitive in his ruling and that it is unclear whether the Chasan Sofer would permit this in normative halacha. However, Rav Yechiel Yaakov Weinberg zt”l (Sridei Eish 2:8) records that Rav Azriel Hildesheimer zt”l and Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch zt”l also ruled leniently for the same reason of the Chasan Sofer.

5. The poskim point out that there are two major issues with the permissive ruling of the Chasan Sofer:

1) The rule that two voices cannot be heard, as used in the Gemara, tells us that one cannot concentrate on the words of the speakers and therefore cannot fulfill his obligation for Krias Hatorah. One does, however, still hear the sound of the speaker. In this case, regarding Kol Isha, the major concern is that hearing a women’s voice is inappropriate and considered an Ervah. Even if he cannot make out the specific words he can definitely hear the women sing and it should still be prohibited.

2) The Gemara in Megilah (21) says that two people are allowed to read the Megilah simultaneously. The reason why the Megilah is different from Krias Hatorah is that, “Since the reading of the Megilah is dear to people, they concentrate and can hear.” The same argument can be extended to our discussion. Since the Yetzer Hara will make the man want to hear the women sing then we assume that two voices are able to be heard at the same time.

6. Harav Yechiel Yaakov Weinberg zt”l was asked regarding a German Jewish organization where the boys and girls sang together. Rav Weinberg quotes the earlier heter of “two voices cannot be heard simultaneously” and writes that he does not find this explanation satisfying. Rav Weinberg instead defends the German Jewish practice by citing the Sdei Chemed who “allows for men and women to sing together.”

[However, no where does the Sdei Chemed discuss men and women singing in unison. Perhaps Rav Weinberg was referring to the Sdei Chemed who quotes the Divrei Cheifetz who asserts that the Kol Isha prohibition does not apply to women singing Zemirot, singing songs to children, and lamentations for the dead. This too is problematic since the Sdei Chemed, himself disagrees with the Divrei Chefetz and rules stringently.]

Rav Weinberg contends that when they are singing Zemiros men do not derive pleasure from the woman’s voice (this is perhaps the rationale for the view of the Divrei Chafetz). However, the poskim point out that this is not necessarily accurate and even if the woman are singing Zemiros men can still derive pleasure from their voices.]

7. In summation the overwhelming majority of poskim [including: the Beer Sheva, the Beer Yehuda on Chareidim, the Steipler Gaon zt”l (cited in Journal Ohel Moshe 1992), the Shevet Halevi (4:197), the Tzitz Eliezer, Badei Hashulchan (Nidah 199:119), Chelek Levi, Kinyan Torah (85), Avnei Yashfei (2:5), Ishei Yisroel (55:32), and Netai Gavriel (Yichud page 348)] maintain that a man may not listen to many women sing in unison, even if they are singing Zemiros.

Different Women And Their Status-

8. Married women– One may not listen to a married women sing under any circumstance. (Magen Avraham O.C. 75)

9. One’s wife who is not in a state of nidah– A husband may listen to his wife sing when she is not in a state of nidah. However, while he is davening, reciting Brachos, bentching etc. a husband may not listen to his wife sing, even when she is not a nidah. (Rama O.C. 75:3)

10. One’s wife who is in a state of nidah–  The poskim debate whether a husband may listen to his wife sing when she is a nidah. The Chemdas Moshe (58) is lenient. Rav Ovadia Yosef zt”l (Yabia Omer 4 Y.D. 15) writes that although it is praiseworthy to be machmir, those that choose to be lenient are permitted to do so. Rav Elyashiv zt”l also rules leniently. (Umekareiv Biyamin vol. 1 page 163)

However, Harav Moshe Feinstein zt”l (Igros Moshe Y.D. 2:75) rules that one should be machmir and not listen to his wife sing while she is a nidah. This is also the view of the Aruch Hashulchan (75:23), Kitzur Shulchan Aruch (153:10), Avnei Yashfei (2 O.C. 5), and ybc”l Harav Azriel Auerbach shlit”a (Levushei Az).

(All agree that when a husband is praying, bentching etc. one may not listen to his wife sing when she is a nidah.)

11. Single Jewish Girls Below The Age of Eleven- One may not listen to these girls sing while he is davening, bentching etc. (M.B. 75:17)
The poskim debate whether one may listen to them sing (when he is not praying etc.). Most assume that it is permitted. (See Beis Shmuel 21, M.B. ibid, and Igros Moshe O.C. 26)

12. Single Jewish Girls Age Eleven and Up–  One may not listen to any Jewish single girl under any circumstance once they have reached the age of nidah. (Pri Megadim 75 M.Z. 2 and M.B. 17) Harav Moshe Feinstein zt”l writes that one should not listen to any girl once they have reached the age of eleven since it is possible that they have already become a nidah.

13. Non Jewish Women– Harav Moshe Feinstein zt”l (Igros Moshe O.C. 4:15:2) rules that one may not listen to a non Jewish girl sing under any circumstance, even if they are below the age of eleven.
14. Mothers and Daughters- While one is praying, bentching etc. one may not hear them sing. Harav Yehoshua Neubert zt”l rules that if he is not praying one may listen to his mother and daughter sing. This seems to be the common custom. However, Harav Chaim Kanievsky shlit”a advises that it is still preferable to be machmir. (Ishei Yisroel 55 f.n. 98) For normative halacha, a rav should be consulted.
15. Sisters- One may of course not hear his sister sing while he is praying, bentching etc. The poskim discuss whether one may listen to his sister sing when he is not praying. The Chazon Ish is cited as ruling that it is forbidden. (Orchos Rabbeinu page 55) However, Harav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv zt”l maintained that one may listen to his sister sing as long as she is below the age of twelve and that once she reaches the age of twelve it is not forbidden but “deemed inappropriate”.  (Ohel Moshe 1992)

Lag B’Omer

The yom tov of Lag B’Omer is rapidly approaching. In this article we will discuss some of the laws and customs of Lag B’Omer.

A number of reasons are given for commemorating Lag B’Omer:
1. It commemorates the students of Rav Akiva who ceased dying during this day (Shelah, Pesachim 525).
2. This day is the yahrtzeit of Rabi Shimon bar Yochai, who revealed the inner secrets of the Torah (Chayei Adam Mo’adim 131:11).
3. This is the day that Rav Akiva granted ordination to his five students — among them Rabi Shimon bar Yochai (Pri Chadash OC 493).

Haircuts:
According to the opinion of the Shulchan Aruch one may not take haircuts or get married until the thirty-fourth day of the omer in the morning. The Rama feels that one may get a haircut on Lag B’Omer. The Rama explains that one must wait for Lag B’Omer morning (after Neitz Hachama) to get a haircut. According to the Rama one would not be allowed to get a haircut on the night of Lag B’Omer. However, the Mishnah Berurah cites authorities who permit getting a haircut on the night of Lag B’Omer. Harav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt”l is cited as explaining that the second view feels that since there are bonfires and parties that take place tonight one would likewise be permitted to shave. For normative halacha, a rav should be consulted.

As noted in a previous post, according to the Arizal shaving is not allowed even on Lag B’Omer.

Counting Sefira:
On the night of Lag B’Omer (after shekiah), one who has not yet counted the sefira of Lag B’Omer should avoid telling someone else that “tonight is Lag B’Omer”, since doing so may be considered counting the omer. (See Shulchan Aruch 489:4) Harav Ben Tzion Abba Shaul zt”l rules that in this situation one may still recite the sefira with a bracha since the person is not intending to count the day, but is rather referring to the name of the day. (Ohr Litzion vol. 3 chapter 16:4)

Attending A Wedding During Sefirah

1. The Gemara states that twenty four thousand students of Rabbi Akiva died during the period of Sefira, which is the time between Pesach and Shavuos. Since Talmudic times, the period of Sefira is treated as a time of mourning and the conducting of weddings is prohibited during this season.

2. There are various customs regarding which days of Sefira are to be kept as a period of mourning and are therefore not times for a wedding to take place. Many refrain from getting married from Pesach until Lag B’Omer, while others refrain from marrying from Rosh Chodesh Iyar until three days before Shavuos (there are other customs, see Rama and Mishnah Berurah).

3. Many times a chosson and kallah will keep the first half of Sefira and wish to make their wedding after Lag B’Omer. The poskim discuss whether someone who is keeping the second half of Sefira can come and dance at a wedding taking place during their Sefira.

4. Harav Moshe Feinstein zt”l (Igros Moshe 159) writes that they are permitted to attend and even dance at the wedding. In addition, a rabbi can serve as the mesader kiddushin (orchestrate the wedding) even though he is still in the midst of his Sefira. He explains that the prohibition of getting married during Sefira belongs only to the chosson and kallah and when they are permitted to marry, others are permitted to attend. Harav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt”l agrees with the ruling of Harav Moshe and he allows for people to attend weddings during Sefira. He himself would also travel to weddings after Lag B’Omer, even though he was still keeping Sefira. He would, however, avoid being mesader kiddushin during that time (Shalmei Simcha page 84). Harav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv zt”l (Ashrei Haish vol. 3 65:30) and Harav Yaakov Kamanetzky zt”l (Emes L’Yaakov 493) rule leniently as well.

Harav Yitzchak Weiss zt”l, however, in his Sefer Minchas Yitzchak (4:84), disagrees and feels that one may not attend a wedding during their Sefira, even if the chosson and kallah are not keeping Sefira. It seems that the common custom is to rule leniently in accordance with the view of Harav Moshe Feinstein

The Shankbone and The Egg At The Seder

  1. Two Cooked Foods– On the eve of Pesach in the Beis Hamikdash in Jerusalem, two sacrifices (Korban Pesach and Korban Chagigah) were offered and their meat roasted and eaten at the Seder meal. After the destruction of the Temple, the Sages instituted the practice of placing two kinds of cooked foods on the Seder plate, one to commemorate the meat of the Pesach offering and one to commemorate the meat of the Chagigah offering.
  2. There is a debate amongst the Amoraim in the Gemara (Pesachim 114b) what type of foods should be used. Rav Yosef maintains that since the two cooked foods are meant to commemorate the Pesach and Chagigah animal sacrifices, they must be meat dishes. Ravina disagrees and maintains that only one of the foods needs to be meat, the other can be any cooked food. The Rambam (Chametz Umatza chapter 8) follows the view of Rav Yosef. However, the Shulchan Aruch (473:5) follows the view of Ravina and one need not place two meat dishes on the ka’arah. The halacha follows this view. The custom has developed to use a shankbone to symbolize the Korban Pesach and an egg to symbolize the Korban Chagigah. [It should be noted that Rav Chaim Soloveichick zt”l followed the view of the Rambam by placing two meat dishes on the Seder plate. He also placed an egg there to fulfill in accordance with the common custom.(Haggada Shai Latorah page 35)]
  3. Shankbone– The reason that the shankbone is used is that, aside from recalling the Korban Pesach, it also corresponds to the human arm, symbolizing the “outstreched arm” of Hashem. (M.B. 27)
  4. Although the Shulchan Aruch and its commentaries write that the custom is to use a shankbone, many Chassidim actually use parts of a chicken in stead. The custom of Belz Chassidim is to use the drumstick of a chicken. The custom of Ropshitz, Sanz, Amshinav, Spinka, Satmar and Sigat Chassidim it to use a chicken wing. And the custom of Chabad, Karlin and Ziditchov Chassidim is to use a chicken neck.(Netai Gavriel Pesach 2:69:1) I believe that the reason that these chassidim chose to use a chicken and not the standard shankbone is in order to avoid any similarity to the korban pesach, which may not be sacrificed outside of the Beis Hamikdosh.
  5. If one does not have a shankbone he should take any other meat, even not on the bone.(M.B. 27)
  6. A bone without meat does not constitute as a dish. Therefore, one must make sure that there is meat on the bone. (Ran on the Gemara Pesachim) The custom of Chabad Chassidim is to remove most of the meat and only leave over a small amount of meat. This is again in order to avoid any similarity to the Korban Pesach.
  7. The Shulchan Aruch (473:4) writes that the shankbone should be roasted over the fire, in order to symbolize the Korban Pesach which was also roasted. The Magen Avraham cites the view of the Maharshal, Bach and Shelah that since the common custom is not to eat roasted meat at the Seder (since onlookers may think we are eating the Korban Pesach, which is forbidden), the meat should therefore be boiled in order to allow the family members to eat the meat from the ka’arah at the Seder. (This is indeed the custom of Stalin, Lelov and Nadvorna Chassidim to boil the meat and not to roast it. See Netai Gavriel page 338) The Taz disagrees with the view of the Maharshal and the Bach and he maintains that one may not eat meat off of the ka’arah even if it is boiled, since it appears as if one is eating the Korban Pesach (eating boiled meat not from the ka’arah is permitted). The common custom is to follow the view of the Shulchan Aruch and to roast the shankbone. (M.B. 28)
  8. Harav Noach Isaac Oelbaum shlit”a writes that one should make sure to roast the meat over the fire and not on the metal grates, which are heated by fire. If one can not roast the entire shankbone directly over the fire, one should scrape off some of the meat, and roast it over the fire. (Haggadah Minchas Chein page 62)
  9. As noted above, the shankbone is roasted over fire. Since the common custom is not to eat roasted meat at the Seder, one should not roast the shankbone on Yom Tov. The reason is that since it will (most likely) be left over until the Second Seder, in essence it will be considered preparing something on the first day of Yom Tov for use on the next. Rather one should roast it before Yom Tov. If one forgot to do so, he may roast it on Yom Tov as long as he eats it on the first day of Yom Tov. (M.B. 32)
  10. The Chaya Adam writes that it is not proper to throw away the shankbone, it should be eaten on the second day of Yom Tov, by day. Indeed, in the Haggadah of Rav Chaim Kanievsky shlit”a (page 19), it states “Rav Chaim makes sure that the zeroa, the roasted bone that was placed on the Seder plate, is eaten on Yom Tov, to ensure that it will not go to waste, as that would be a disgrace for this item, which was used for a mitzvah.”
  11. Many people roast the shankbone before Yom Tov and use the same shankbone for both sedarim. And in many cases the shankbone, after sitting out for two days has become repulsive. Care should be taken to avoid this (by the use of refrigeration between the two sedarim). Harav David Feinstein shlit”a writes, “Indeed, to my mind, one does not even fulfill the mitzvah to remember the Pesach sacrifice the second night if the shankbone is not fit to eat.” (Haggadah Kol Dodi page 30)
  12. There are two reasons that we use an egg as the second cooked dish. A) The first reason is that the Aramaic word for egg (בֵיעָא) is related to the Aramaic word for desire (בָעָא)- God desired to take us out of Egypt with an outstretched arm. (M.B. 23) B) In addition, the egg is a mourners food. Therefore, an egg is used to symbolize our mourning for the destruction of the Beis Hamikdosh and our inability to offer the Korban Pesach.
  13. The Tanaim (Pesachim 70a) disagree how the Korban Chagigah was prepared. According to the Sages the Korban can be either boiled or roasted. While according to Ben Teima the Chagigah must be roasted similar to the Korban Pesach. The Shulchan Aruch writes that the egg, symbolizing the Korban Chagigah, can be either boiled or roasted, in accordance with the view of the Sages that both preparations were permitted for the Chagigah. This is also the view of the Ben Ish Chai (Tzav 30) and is the custom of Chabad, Karlin, Lelov, Belz and Vishnitz Chassidim that the egg is boiled (Netai Gavriel page 340). The Rama however, notes that the common custom is to roast the egg, in order to also accomodate the view of Ben Teima. This is the common custom amongst Ashkenazim.
  14. Although the Chagigah sacrifice was not brought on Shabbos [and was therefore not eaten Saturday nights], it is still customary on Saturday nights to place the egg symbolizing it on the Seder plate.(M.B. 22)

The Simanim Of The Seder

The Seder ritual contains fifteen observances, or stages, which have been summarized with the following fifteen simanim (symbols):

1- Kaddesh (קדש)- Sanctify the day with the recitation of Kiddush.
2- Urchatz (ורחץ)- Wash the hands before eating Karpas.
3- Karpas (כרפס)- Eat a vegatable dipped in salt water or vinegar.
4- Yachatz (יחץ)- Break the middle Matzah. Put away the larger half for Afikomen.
5- Maggid (מגיד)- Narrate the story of the Exodus from Egypt.
6- Rachtzah (רחצה)- Wash the hands prior to the meal.
7- Motzi (מוציא)- Recite the bracha of Hamotzi Lechem Min Haaretz over the Matzah (as a food).
8- Matzah (מצה)- Recite the blessing over Matzah (as a mitzvah) and eat the Matzah.
9- Marror (מרור)- Recite the blessing and eat the bitter herbs.
10- Korech (כורך)- Eat the sandwich of Matzah and bitter herbs.
11- Shulchan Orech (שלחן עורך)- The table is prepared with the festive meal.
12- Tzafun (צפון)- Eat the Afikomen which has been hidden all during the Seder.
13- Berach (ברך)- Recite Birchas Hamazon, the blessing after the meal.
14- Hallel (הלל)- Recite the Hallel.
15- Nirtzah (נרצה)- Pray that Hashem accept our observance and speedily send the Mashiach.

Section 1: Related Halachos-
1. These simanim are not a new invention. Rather, they can be found in the works of the Rishonim, including the Machzor Vitri (65) in the name of Rashi.

2. There are numerous reasons given for these simanim. A) The simple explanation is that these summaries were created is to help remind us of the order of the Seder and to ensure that no step is skipped. B) In addition, it is always important to prepare oneself before performing any mitzvah. For example the Mishnah in Masechet Berachot (45a) states that three who have eaten a bread meal together must perform a “Zimun” before reciting Birkat Hamazon. The Meiri writes that the reason why three individuals who ate together must perform the Zimun is in order for them to arouse themselves to recite Birkas Hamazon with the proper concentration. It is for this very reason that the fifteen simanim were created. By reciting these words and meditating on their meaning one can properly prepare himself for each important step of the Seder process. (See Seder Haaruch chapter 48 and Haggadah Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt”l page 92)

3. The Sefer Yesod V’Shoresh Ha’avodah (9:6) writes that there are many mystical concepts included in these simanim. And one should therefore recite aloud each siman before performing the corresponding step in the Seder with as much concentration as one can. Before reciting kiddush one says the word “Kaddesh” and before washins his hands he recites “Urchatz” etc. Indeed, the custom of Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt”l (ibid. page 93) was to recite each siman before performing the corresponding act in accordance with the view of the Yesod V’Shoresh Ha’avodah.

4. Some have the custom to recite all fifteen simanim before beginning the Seder and then to recite each siman before performing each stage of the Seder. This was the practice of the Lubavitcher Rebbe zt”l. All the simanim however were recited quietly.

5. One cannot recite the simanim of “Motzi” and “Matzah” prior to their performance since one may not speak after washing his hands during Rachtzah. The proper time to recite them is prior to washing his hands. Therefore prior to washing his hands he should recite “Rachtzah Motzi Matzah.” (Seder Haaruch 75:7)

The Kittel At The Seder

1. There is a custom for men to wear a kittel (white robe) at the Seder. There are two primary reasons for this custom: A) The kittel resembles the ministering angels, who are clothed in pure white. According to this reason, the kittel symbolizes angel-like freedom from sin and it would generate feelings of happiness. (See Hilchos Pesach Rav Shimon Eider and Netai Gavriel Pesach 2 chapter 64)  B) The kittel resembles shrouds. Since at the Seder we conduct ourselves like free men and royalty, we are afraid that a person may tend to become haughty. Therefore, the kittel reminds him of the day of his death. (Taz 472:3)
2. The custom of Sefardim and Chabad Chassidim is not to wear a kittel at the Seder. (See Haggadah Shel Pesach Chabad and Netai Gavriel ibid.)
3. The custom is not to enter the bathroom while wearing a kittel, since it is considered a garment set aside for prayer (on Yom Kippur), entering the bathroom with the kittel is not an honorable act. Therefore, if one needs the bathroom during the Seder he should remove the kittel before entering the bathroom. (Beer Heitiv 21:3)
4. Many, including Square Chassidim, do not wear a kittel during the first year of marriage, or shana rishonah. (See Maharam Shick O.C. 28, Katzeh Hamateh on Mateh Efraim 619:11 and Netai Gavriel Pesach page 318) This is also the view of Harav Chaim Kanievsky shlit”a. (Sefer Yismach Lev Nisuin)
5. Others maintain that it is preferred to wear the kittel during the shana rishonah. Vizhnitz, Nadvorna, Sanzer, and Munkatch Chassidim wear the kittel during the shana rishonah. (See Netai Gavriel ibid.) This is also the view of Harav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt”l and Harav Chaim Pinchas Sheinberg zt”l. (Haggadah Shel Pesach Harav Shlomo Zalman and Yismach Lev)
6. Above we cited two reasons to wear the Kittel (1. To symbolize angel-like freedom from sin. 2. To remind us of death so that one will not become haughty) There is a great debate amongst the authorities whether a mourner wears a kittel. The Taz (472:3) favors the second rationale for wearing a kittel (so that one will not become haughty) and therefore he writes that a mourner should wear a kittel. This is also the view of the Baal Hatania (472:4), Harav Yaakov Emden zt”l (Siddur), Harav Yekutiel Halbestam zt”l (Divrei Yetziv 208) and Harav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt”l (Haggadah).
7. However, the Magen Avraham maintains that according to both explanations of a kittel’s significance, a mourner at the Seder should not wear one. Certainly, if wearing the kittel symbolizes angel-like freedom from sin, it would generate simcha and is inappropriate for a mourner. But even if the kittel is meant to induce humilty, it is unnecessary for a mourner to wear it since he is already saddened. This is also the view of the Bach. Harav David Feinstein shlit”a (Haggadah Kol Dodi) writes, “Magen Avraham’s reasoning is sound, and his ruling is therefore definitive; especially since the Gra, according to the Haggada of Rabbi Yechiel Heller, holds that the rationale for wearing a kittel is that we resemble the ministering angels.” The Mishnah Berurah writes that the custom is not to wear the kittel, however, those that choose to wear one should not be rebuked. For normative Halacha, a rav should be consulted.

Preparations For The Seder

  1. The poskim stress the importance of starting the Seder as soon as possible upon returning home from Shul after nightfall. (It should not begin before nightfall, however.) The reason that we wish to begin the Seder promptly is in order that the children should still be awake and in order to eat the Afikomen in the proper time. Indeed, it is a mitzvah to run home from Shul in order to quickly begin the Seder, even though normally one may not run on Shabbos and Yom Tov. (see Netai Gavriel Pesach 2:60)
  2. It is for this reason that the Seder table (including the wine, Kiddush cups, Matzah, Marror, Charoses etc.) should be prepared before Yom Tov in order to facilitate commencing the Seder immediately upon returning home from Shul after nightfall. (S.A. 472:1) (In a later halacha we will iy”h discuss when to assemble and bring the Ka’arah to the table)
  3. When feasible, all the preparations should be done by adult Jews and not by non-Jews or Jewish minors. (see M.B. end of 477) It should be noted that the Chasam Sofer would set the table himself before leaving to Shul. (Minhagei Chasam Sofer 10:11) Indeed, many tzadikim would perform the preparations themselves and not rely on others to perform the mitzvah. (See Netai Gavriel Pesach 2 page 274)
  4. The Mishnah Berurah (472:6) writes, “Although during the entire year it is best to minimize use at the table of elegant vessels (i.e. exquisite silver) in order to recall the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash, on the Seder nights it is a mitzvah to set the table with the finest vessels, in the manner of free men and royalty.”
  5. As a sign of our freedom, when a person dines on many of the items on this night he is required to eat and drink in a reclining position (heseiba), in the manner of free men and royalty. The preferred position for reclining is that while seated near the table, he leans to the left, with a pillow or cushion to support his head. (M.B. 472:7) Therefore, pillows and cushions should be prepared by each seat before Yom Tov. (see Haggadah Shel Pesach Minchas Chein page 61) It is preferred that the pillow be prepared by someone other than the master of the house. (Haggadah Shel Pesach Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt”l Hebrew)
  6. The cups used for Kiddush should be rinsed prior to use. (See M.B. 271:44) The Chaya Adam (130:1) writes that that the rinsing of the cups, as the other preparations, should be done before Yom Tov. However, others write that the cups should be washed immediately prior to Kiddush. (Mateh Moshe 615 and Tashbetz Maamer Chametz)
  7. The Shulchan Aruch (472:15) writes that one should distribute candies and nuts to the children before the Seder in order to keep them awake. In the Rav Chaim Kanievsky Haggada is states that Rav Chaim would distribute the candies and nuts in adherence to the view of the Shulchan Aruch. However, many do not adhere to this Halacha. (For a justification of the common practice see Minhag Yisroel Torah)